Friday, December 19, 2008

In case you don't know

The best song/song title of 2008 but not necessarily the best song or the best song title.

Basically the best combination of good song with great title. What I'm getting at here is that there may be better songs, and there may be songs with better titles, but no song has a better combination of good music and clever title. At least in 2008.

E-40 - Poor Man's Hydraulics


've heard about this place for a long time from all my friends who are fortunate enough to live in the self-proclaimed center of the world. The thing is, for all the talk about how everything is better in new york, that type of arrogant nonsense never transferred over in describing the burger at P.J. Clarke's. Here's what normally happens when you deal with a New Yorker, you open a can of diet coke and all of a sudden you hear them screaming at you "what the hell, the diet coke out here is horrible. You live in farm country, how the hell are you supposed to get a decent diet coke, it ain't like the diet coke in the city, man the diet coke there is so much better because of the water." Or you pick up a scissors and all of a sudden "what are you doing? Trying to cut a piece of paper with that thing, it's gonna take ya an hour and a half. Back in the city, we got scissors that cut the paper by themselves, you don't even have to touch them. You just look at the paper and the scissors gets up and cuts it right in half every time. Symmetrical too, one half ain't ever bigger than the other."

I've never heard that in reference to P.J. Clarke's. In fact, it could be the only place in all of New York I've heard described in such calm, hushed tones. One time when eating a burger with a friend from new york, we were commenting on the burger and others we've had when Charlie Kornman said, "next time you go to New York you have to go to PJ Clarke's, it really is my favorite burger I've ever had." Now notice the difference, no huge audacious claims of grandeur. Nor have I ever heard that the burger there is better simply because it's a burger served in New York. Rather this is a burger that is a favorite for those who live in New York, and to sample it would be no different than to sample someones favorite place to get a burrito in Cleavland.

All that aside:

I stroll in and I gotta admit right off the bat I'm impressed. The place looks a bit like a businessman's place to get a burger instead of a two martini lunch from the outside, but inside, it's quite welcoming. I post up at the bar and look at the menu. I'd heard the prices were a bit steep, but a $10 burger in New York ain't that bad. Turns out the fries and all that are separate but still, a restaurant owner's gotta make a living so yeah, it's cool, charge me for the fries. I'm cool with that. I decided not to go with the Cadillac as it has bacon and I don't like meat on my meat (no homo) so I just got the burger with cheese and grilled onions. They call them smothered onions and therefore are allowed to charge two bucks or some shit for it. So I sit. I'm watching tv, I'm reading, all the while anticipating this burger. And let it be known, I've been wanting to get this for like five years, just every time I'm in New York it's hard to convince the kids out in Brooklyn to track across town for a burger. So the plate arrives.

Upon first glance, I felt a pang of disappointment. The burger was presented on a huge white plate, with the meat sitting on the bottom bun right square in the middle. The top bun with the lettuce and tomato was flipped over nest to the bottom bun. I felt this was an attempt to make it look like there was more food because at first sight, the burger did not look that adequate. I was wrong. Once I lifted it up to my mouth, I realized it was gigantic. (no homo)

I put a little mustard and ketchup on it and took my first bite. Juices flew everywhere. They soaked into the top bun, the bottom and a some oozed onto the plate. The onions were evenly distributed so no bite had too many or too few. It was fabulous. On my second bite, I realized there was something odd beneath my bun that I had not yet seen. I put my burger down to find a whole slice or raw onion I had accidental picked up. Although I had ordered and received a burger with grilled onions, I was pleased to see they included the raw onion. After all, in the words of Ariel Sharon, "my burger will not be the next Czechoslovakia."

I ate the whole thing and it was awesome. We're talking top ten burgers of all time. It must be something they have in the water out there. HOWEVER, no free refills, and they fronted like there were, so two sodas ran six bucks. Offensive to say the least. I got a good mind to say something to Mr. Clarke.

Sometimes Good Beats Evil

Rwandan Officer Found Guilty of 1994 Genocide

Read up, this is a big deal.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


As his father Neil wrote in the email announcing his child's birth:
"Ho's be lining up."
See ya'll in 8 days at the Bris.

(Local legend has it Milwaukee mobster Frank Frank Balistreri ate his first and only piece of gefilte fish--clearly the first on my list of things I want to eat a bris--at Neil's own bris nearly 30 years ago. I'm told that with the change of location and what have you this year's special shady guest is going to be Tony Rezko.)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Matt Canter

Always one of my favorite people, and now he's been on tv.

Ladies take note, this guy is a catch, he was on his way to Rabbinical school when he decided to go into politics, and yeah, that was after he ripped up his acceptance letter to the London School of Economics, cause you know, it's not like Mick Jagger was able to learn anything there about making money. Also, did I mention he speaks fluent Nepali? For real, one day we were at this thrift store (savers rip) and I was putting on a jacket and I looked around and there he was, yapping away in Nepali with some people from Nepal. Nepalis? Nepalians? You know who would know what they're called? Matt Canter. He knows everything. Also, he likes a lot of different Jazz organists. And not just Jimmy Smith.

I hope this is a lesson to everyone, if you work hard, know Russ Feingold, and stop dating girls with dreads, you too can be on MSNBC. It's a shame he didn't win it for his guy down there in Georgia, but the Great State Of Wisconsin is ready for the triumphant return of the best press secretary our governor's office has ever seen. Come back, post haste son.

Pimp C

This is one of the best. Posted a version I have off of a mix without Bun's verse, I'll make that up and post the real one tomorow.
Diamonds and Wood
Lustful thinking and compulsive drinking is a normal thang.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Pimp C

I'm Back Now.

A year ago yesterday, Pimp C was discovered dead in his hotel room in Los Angeles. Pimp C was kinda a Mitch Hedberg like figure to me, one of these insanely talented guys you've always loved, and just when you start getting people into him, just when he starts to get bigger than he's ever been, he dies suddenly and all too before his time.

Here are a few tributes I found online, I'll post something a lot more later. Point is, I'm back to the blog. Rejoice.

Below are two tributes from a Houston radio station, the first was aired last night, the second one last year. Enjoy.