Tuesday, March 2, 2010

McDonald's New Sweet Chili Sauce VS. Shutter Island

What is better? Let's discuss.

Shutter Island
I've been seeing previews for Shutter Island for almost a year now, and nearly every preview is completely different. The powers that be clearly had a tough time figuring out not only how to market the film, but what type of film to market. Is it a horror film, a mystery by the guy who wrote Mystic River, a psychological thriller? Who knows? But I had to wait a year to find out.

None. I passed a McDonald's with a huge banner proclaiming the new sauce's official arrival. Shocking. Nearly every fast food item, especially ones at McDonald's are released with a huge fanfair. Commercials, parades, film tie-ins, they flood us with the release date to get our tongues salivating and our minds imagining the various tingling sensations these new culinary inventions will create. And yet, to create a new sauce, and just ship it to stores with little advance warning to the public, shocking behavior.
And even more shocking when one considers we are talking about a sauce here, a condiment. McDonald's may come up with new sandwiches every now and again, but the arrival of a new sauce is a once in a lifetime event, at least once in a decade.* Our whole lives McDonald's always offered hot mustard, BBQ, and sweet and sour, and now all of a sudden, there is a new sauce for nuggets and they just casually put it out there. I don't understand it. Unless of course, they want the sauce to be able to speak for itself.

Winner: Sweet Chili Sauce

Shutter Island: About two and half hours
Sweet Chili Sauce: Enough for five nuggets.

Winner: Sweet Chili Sauce (by far)

First Impressions:
Shutter Island: When Leo pulls up in the boat, it seemed a little overdone with the music. I thought the score was brilliant, but seriously, so loud and dramatic to show the opening of a gate? Interesting choice.
Sweet Chili Sauce: Thicker than I expected. Sweeter than I thought. Perhaps this is too similar to the sweet and sour sauce, which I refuse to use.

Winner: Shutter Island

Second Impressions:
Shutter Island: Umm, wait, when is this going to...what is happening? Why am I bored? Why are you trying to hard?
Sweet Chili Sauce: This is a little bit spicier than I first thought, even though I have a high tolerance for spice and by no means am saying I can't handle anything 3,000 times this spicy, I'm still a little impressed at how the heat lingers.

Winner: Sweet Chili Sauce

Shutter Island: Ben Kingsley basically explains the plot of the entire film to Leo and the audience.
Sweet Chili Sauce: Good enough to use generously with each nugget while still doing quantitative analysis to keep enough ready for each nugget. I left about half a nugget's worth (pause) in the container.

Winner: Sweet Chili Sauce

Presence of Reality
Shutter Island: Throughout the film, it is very hard to determine what is really happening, what is going on in the mind, and what is just lunacy.
Sweet Chili Sauce: Actually exists while you consume it.

Winner: Sweet Chili Sauce

Regional Orgins:
Shutter Island: Boston
Sweet Chili Sauce: Asia (the entire continent)

Winner: Umm, I'm no racist: Sweet Chili Sauce

McDonald's new Sweet Chili Sauce doesn't last three hours, is easy to understand, is slightly spicy and comes from Asia, it is clearly better than Shutter Island. I don't think we've ever had such a blowout here at 414son.blogspot.com


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