Monday, June 15, 2009

When a thing you should know is so clear to see that you can't see what the eye can clearly see

and three other things in this month's XXL worth talking about:

Sometimes things are so clear yet "one can't see what is so clear for the eye to clearly see" or however Josh said that quote back in 2005. Once, Annie was telling me how cleaver it is that Arby's is called Arby's because you know, roast beef, rb, Arby's...I had never thought of that before, and yeah, I felt stupid.
The latest thing so clear to the eye that the eye can't see what is so clearly able to see is that OJ Da Juiceman turns out to be a very, very, funny guy. How could I not know this? How could a guy smart enough to name himself OJ Da Juiceman not be a funny guy? I don't know, I guess I just never had heard his comedy, but I should have put it all together. A man with that name, a rapper whose made a trademark ad-lib out of the word "aye," a man who shouts said trademark ad-lib with a insanely high pitch frequency and does so frequently, how could this guy not be the funniest dude ever?

In the new XXL, there's a four way (pause) interview between OJ, Gucci Mane, Soulja Boy, and Shawty Lo. Everything Oj says is nothing short of comic genius. When XXL asks them all how they came to work together and are they friends etc, he responds with the following comedy:

"Atlanta cats, we keep it two, 100. We don't play soccer--save that for the folks over in Brazil, know what I'm talking about? But it's a good look we came together to make the hip-hop better than what it is because it ain't nothing without us, ya feel mae? Juiceman said that. All we got is that. The music me and Gooch make, you know its just a good vibe. The music that me and Shawty make, it's a stupid vibe, and the music that me and Soulja make, it's a wonderful vibe. And if anybody say different, I wish they would, you feel me? And this here's Atlanta, ya feel me? We swagged up all the way to the max. Swag 200 for the 100. For the fool that ain't keeping it 100, you know we 100 anyway. So I say 200--100 for us and for the folks that ain't 100. Da Juiceman aye!"

Let's take a look. The first, obvious bit of hilarity is the soccer thing. I have absolutely no idea what it means, and I think he knows how absurd and funny it is, as he asks us if we know what he's talking about to further the ridiculousness of it all. In effect, he's saying the most absurd thing of all time, and then asking if you understand it, thus rubbing the absurdity and comedy of it all directly into our faces. And if we want to go even deeper into this soccer line, let's note that in Atlanta, they don't play soccer, which is far more humours than the actual playing of soccer. Don't believe me, right now say out loud, "I'm from Atalanta, we play soccer." Now say "I'm from Atlanta, we don't play soccer." See, I'm right about this. So much more side-splitting.
To continue with the rest of quote we move into the different vibes section. I don't think it warrants a comment. Next up, the difference between keeping it 100 and 200 and the explanation of why they keep it 200, which is spectacular. He's swagging to 200 for all of us who are unable to keep it 100, and that's love right there. For real. No homo. Finally, and my favorite part of the whole thing, is after the single greatest soliloquy of 2009, he ends it by shouting his name, and barking aye. In the issue, in parenthesis, it is written "(everyone laughs.)" And this is good to know, not only do we find OJ funny, but even those capable of being and keeping it 200 find him hilarious.
Moving on.
Later in the interview, OJ responds to a rather tough question about the nature of the recession and it's effects on working artists. His response:
Re: The recession "I don't even know what that is! (group laughter) I say floatation man, We floatin' over here like a muthafucka in water!"
Gucci: What the hell is that?
OJ: Inflation! Inflation!
(more laughter)

And it's good to know OJ's not the only in the group. Gucci's got jokes too. XXL get's into a few questions about Atlanta rap artists and their various beefs with one another.

XXL: Do you think Atlanta rap can come together as a united community?
Gucci: I was beefing with my jewelry man.
XXL: You're beefing with your jewelry man?
Gucci: Yeah, he's stupid as hell.
XXL: Okay
Gucci: He keep making stupid diamonds. I told him don't be doing it, but he keep doing it. He retarded man.
XXL: Your jewelry man keeps making stupid diamonds?
Gucci: Yeah, I wanna go to war about that shit.
XXL changes the subject.
Does it get any funnier? Not unless OJ Da Juiceman is saying it.

2) XXL does a small feature on the new Kindle, the book ipod thing. And out of everyone related to hip-hop, out of everyone and anyone there is that raps or does something related to rap music that they could get to review the Kindle, who do they choose, but Tony Yayo. One thing they point out about Yayo though, "he reads while traveling." One thing Yayo thinks about the Kindle is it should come in different colors, "...that'd be cool. A girl might want a pink one, a guy might want a black one or whatever." Also, in all four categories, design, price, usability, and better than a book, he gives it a 5/5. Amazing.

3) Cam'ron, perhaps knowing OJ is close to taking his crown as the funniest guy in hip-hop at the moment has a great quote in the issue as well. "It's like when the space shuttle took off, it ain't land on Plymouth Rock. So therefore, you can't have carpet. I'm Jason Bourne right now, I'm just tryin' to remember everything that's going on." Yep!

Make Da Trap Say Aye -- Gucci feat OJ Da Juiceman and Cam'ron

Shirt Off -- Gucci feat OJ Da Juiceman


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