Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Mayor Of Racine Is a Moron


Racine mayor arrested in sex sting
Is this guy for real?

Racine Anecdote: I always used to think Racine was just some town in Wisconsin. Then I met all these dudes from there like four years ago and all they ever talked about was how Racine is just the most violent place on Earth and how living in the worst neighborhood in Milwaukee ain't shit cause it's still better than the best neighborhood in Racine and how if you live in Chicago and "mess up" the gangs will come up to Milwaukee and kill you but if you go to Racine no one will do anything to you because people are too afraid to go there. Yeah, bullshit. Clearly. But then, one day, I was in Chicago and I experience a no-money situation where I had 40 dollars and due to a complicated set of circumstances that do not need to be described here or anywhere else for the matter, the money blew out of my hands in a giant gust of wind leaving me stranded in the parking lot and having to gather up change in the car to pay for my exit. On my way back to Milwaukee I was running out of gas, had no cash on me, atm magnetic strip was broken, and I foresaw myself running out of gas and being stranded 60 miles from home only to die from a slow death of starvation and boredom and dehydration. My only hope was a crazed truck driver might kill me before the dehydration set in. I called my friend to tell her goodbye and she told me that Aaron Vold, a mutual friend was actually spending the weekend at his parents house in Racine, and I should go borrow $20 from him, With a new lease on life I drove into Racine, searching for both the bad parts of town to see if these kids were right and Aaron Vold. He gave me some money and a short tour of Racine, showing me the bad parts of town and telling me about how kids ride elephants down the street during prom. (true) Anyway, while the initial reports might have been grossly exaggerated, I can say, Racine has got problems, and problems plural. Too bad the mayor who actually started to fix some of them is now going away for a long time. 12 year-olds dude.


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